don’t blame women for the fact that someone they trusted betrayed them in such an intimate way
solidarity with my ladies
for real i’m so sick of everyone blaming women when their asshole partners share their PRIVATE, CONSENSUAL pictures with the public
THIS IS FOR EVERY GENDER
Let’s be real clear. This isn’t a male vs female thing. Naked pics of guys have been leaked, presumably by their ex-girlfriend’s, too. This is a COMMON SENSE thing. OBVIOUSLY sharing with the world such private photos that were to be for your eyes and your eyes only is not only wrong, but disgusting and cruel, no matter your gender and no matter the gender of your partner/former partner. But what do we know of naked pics, particularly when you’re somewhat famous? They seem to get leaked a LOT. So what’s the most surefire way to know such photos of yourself will NEVER be leaked? DON’T TAKE THEM!!! Seriously, I don’t care if you’re male, female, famous, or Joe Blow down the street. Taking naked pictures of yourself is a stupid (some might say arrogant) thing to do, and you really are only asking for trouble.
yes how dare you trust your significant other with something personal and private.
it strains belief really.
It’s a two way street. You’ve put yourself out there, and like I said, OF COURSE you should not expect to be betrayed in such a vicious way, but use these celebs as an example. IT HAPPENS! Don’t let it happen to YOU!
Dude, seriously. What the fuck are you talking about. You are blaming the victim here. The logic you’re using is like saying hey, don’t tell your partner anything secret about yourself. Don’t be intimate with anyone. Don’t share anything ever, because it might come back to bite you in the ass. Don’t make yourself vulnerable to people you’re supposed to care about and who are supposed to care about you.
Yes ~it happens~ But when it happens, the fault is squarely on the shoulders of the person who leaked the photos. Don’t turn around and spout this bullshit about ~oh you shouldn’t take naked photos~ in the first place, because taking naked photos IS NOT A BAD THING. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG ABOUT TAKING PHOTOS OF YOURSELF, WHETHER THEY’RE FOR YOU, OR SOMEONE ELSE, OR THE ENTIRE WORLD. Women who take photos of themselves aren’t stupid or wrong (or fucking arrogant, how dare you) for doing it. The people who spread them without the consent of the subject are the only ones who are wrong in this situation, and that is literally the only part that matters.
Stop shaming women for enjoying their bodies and their sexuality, and for wanting to share that with who they want, and only who they want.
Okay, I’m a woman, and I’m no gender traitor. I am not trying to SHAME women (and btw, it’s you who keep trying to make this a gender issue, I’m trying to explain it’s a COMMON SENSE issue that has nothing to do with gender and men are the victims just as often). You know what I believe in? Logic and accountability. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it now, but I’ll say it once more. I am NOT denying that a HUGE portion of the responsibility lies with the person who leaked the photos. Clearly he or she is an asshole who should never have been trusted with your heart, never mind photographic images of your naked body, in the first place.
If you’re quite happy to let your body be seen by the world, as Dylan Sprouse seemed to be, more power to you. But if that’s not what you want, if you don’t want your parents, siblings, friends or the entire world to see those pictures, these celebrities should be an example to you of what NOT to do.
When it first started happening, with people like Vanessa Hudgens, I felt as I think most decent people did: “Poor thing, what a terrible thing for someone to have done to her.” But that was, what, easily 6 years ago now? And it’s happened to countless celebrities since. And there comes a point when any logical person says “Again? Really? There is a lesson here, and no one seems to be learning it”. This is not about blaming the victim, this is about taking responsibility for your own actions. If you don’t want your pictures out there, and we all know by now that there’s a good chance that they WILL get out there, be safe and don’t share them at all. It’s not like you’ll be missing out on a whole lot. Nor will your partner. He/she can see the real thing. It’s not the end of the world NOT to share pictures of yourself, but you may feel like it’s the end of the world if you DO and it goes wrong.
Let’s use an analogy. Say you’re a smoker, and tragically, you develop lung cancer. You can blame the cigarettes, and the cigarette companies, absolutely. You can be angry, and upset, and devastated, and you have every right to be, because it’s a truly awful thing that’s happened to you. But you also knew it was a possibility. Is this your fault? No, not exactly. But if you’re telling me that you’re not remotely responsible for your own actions, having chosen to start smoking in the first place, and to continue smoking to the point that it makes you sick, then you’re crazy.
By the logic YOU are employing, we should all be able to have unprotected sex, because we love and trust our partners, and if the result of that unprotected sex ends up being STDs or pregnancy. “Oops. But I trusted you! How could this be? I didn’t know there was such a thing as a consequence!” Or anyone that gets crazy drunk and attacks someone, well hey, it can’t be THEIR fault. They’re not responsible for their actions, right?
We have become a society of shirkers. Everything is someone else’s fault. And may I say, I think it is YOU that is belittling other women, by insinuating that this is something that just happens TO them, and that they have no choice in the matter. The choice begins with them. This is a cautionary tale for the 21st century. It’s up to the individual as to whether they actually take heed or not.
And for the record, it’s not even always the evil ex who ends up sharing these things! Computers, mobile phones, they can be stolen! Your pictures could end up in the hands of someone you don’t even know, through no fault of your own or your partner’s, and God only knows what they will do with what’s on your device. Once those pictures exist, you can so easily lose control of them, it’s scary.
Every action (good or bad) has a consequence (good or bad), it’s our responsibility as human beings to try to make the right choices, choices we can live with.
It all boils down to this: people should be good enough to know that if something that personal is shared with you, you have no right to share it with anyone else. Full stop. No matter how your relationship ends. But if you know that chance exists that it could be shared, and you can’t even stomach the thought, just don’t take the pic in the first place, and then none of this is even an issue. I know I personally would much rather be safe than sorry.